2025posts:2025_journal:2025-01-14_kink_for_cope []

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====== Kink for cope ======

//TLDR; FA has content filtering now, I'm going to start posting more stuff! I want to draw or explore more aka like toxic relationship, twincest, noncon, amputee, cannibalism nom nom and other kind of thing I want to try for my own mental health and healing and just because i want to. Also personal stuff that I'm willingly to share. //

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===== THE COPE =====

**CW: Mentioned mental health, Sexual abuse**

I was diagnosed with new fun stuff last year. Ever since talking and checking in with psychiatrist. Aside from recording how i'm doing during the day with my mood swing, my energy and motivation and generally my aggression and taking meds, I really lack a way for me to vent out my aggression in a 'good' way.

Most of the time ,before knowing what I have, I just simply try to toss it away and direct my attention toward other thing? And it becomes bottling up and up. Which also not great lol Along with where i'm in social media or fandom is very hostile toward me back then. But now that I've change for a better way. I feel like i'm more confident to express myself more in art and exploring what i like more even if it is a 'problematic' or will people think i'm bad person because i like something in fiction. Tbh I have better thing to worry about. **And I have something called 'SELF CONTROL** ✨' and **I can fully tell the difference between fiction and reality✨**

Ever since I made silja as my sona or avatar and use it to explore all kind of weird shenanigans and kink. As both 'victim' and 'aggressor' especially drawing stuff with my friend. It's feel nice. Like I get to work on healing myself or coping with my past trauma safely. And drawing like non-con, hypnosis TF with friend who is nice to me and we both enjoy and like it. I feel great.


It just really nice to have a somewhat safe place to explore it and as a sexual abuse survivor having a safe place to do it and not immediately get label the same thing as my abuser meant a lot to me. Because I think that just low. Really low. 

Back to what I said, I notice that it help me out a lot, actually. More stable mentally (unless i overwork myself or my brain being a bitch randomly or Fun perk of PMS) and more happy throughout the day that I don't have to actively 'fight' against myself or beating myself for liking something or try to hide it. So yes I'm interested in applying and venting my aggression through my art more so in a way that I can use it to both cope and help aid me. And of course in a more creative way. Now that FA has filtered, I will start posting more vent art or dark fiction stuff. Maybe on scarp or so! 

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===== THE KINK =====

NOW that I talk about cope stuff, let's talk about fun stuff! KINK!! [Only apply to my fantasy and personal art]

 I really like drawing silja in these kinds of theme. When it comes to hypnosis, transformation and corruption stuff. I mean, it does help with my aggression a lot. It's appeal to my power fantasy lol, I find the concept of losing control (sometimes down right horror) , dominance and pleasure mixed together to be appealing and fun to explore. No matter if the victim trying to fight it or accept it. But I do like it more when it's consensual, yeah. 

I like it when silja is on the receiving of such treatment but I'm picky to whom I'm ok with drawing silja getting corrupted by or hypnotize or anything really. Sometimes it's kinda nice escape fantasy to completely belong to someone and all you need to care about is to obey and to obey is to be loved and rewarded.

I also like it in a way that silja 'can' have complete control over the victim or partner without needing to 'hurt' them or vice versa (I have no wish to draw or see anyone being physically 'hurt' in both fiction and real life even the cannibalism art of zodia and europa still potray them as it's a pleasurable thing to do)  I do look forward to drawing it more with my own character, maybe silja x silja or with friend. In the end if I can make good art and have fun drawing it and both of me and my friend are happy then it's make me happy.

I also want to draw more romantic cannibalism art. With candy gore and all that. Not sure about actual vore tho but I might draw more ore explore my boundary more. I have a very specific requirement of how to make vore enjoyable for me. But generally speaking I'm always a sucker for the concept of 'being one with my beloved' no matter what way, fusion, transformation, living suit, cannibalism, vore or whatever.

Like these arts

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59437786/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59066019/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58794339/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58651932/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56394935/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56014894/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56440320/

They're kinky but also romantic and it has a power imbalance that also explore more taboo stuff in a safe way with story and theme that both party trust each other enough to explore it together. And I think it's very fulfilling for me to draw them. I wish to draw more of it. Although from now on you might also see not so wholesome art about it too. I will make sure to do my part and properly tag it!

Anyway, i uh have been writing this for a while and my attention has shifted to something else. My rambling is over. If you want to comment on something, I will tsome timeimes to reply!