2024posts:2024_journal:2024-02-21_what_a_messy_month []

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====== What a messy month ======

{{tag>[ Internet_stuff, Tech_stuff, Mentalhealth_stuff, Art_stuff ]}}

This month (February 2024) is very messy month for me for variety of things. First I start working on my first ever comic along with my monthly commission work while also try to maintain some sort of routine and take care of my mental health but it’s pretty much didn’t go in the way that I want it too. 😂
The Art Stuff

It’s very messy probably the most messy of them all. I found myself getting somewhat burn out and also feel like I didn’t do it enough. I think my problem is I can’t find a routine that work for me. I found myself only work at the night and literally do nothing during the day. When I mean I do nothing I didn’t mean as I didn’t work during day but it’s mean I literally didn’t do anything. No playing game No watching fun stuff. Nothing. I’m not sure what is the cause of this. Perhaps, I didn’t recover much from late 2023 as I struggle to maintain commission work as well as my university work? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s some result of me not taking my anti depressants and my ADHD meds anymore?

But the thing is I love working on commission but for some reason I find it hard to make my body move to draw them. I find myself losing ability to control myself more and more as I fail to finish my weekly goal in time. I used to have weekend break but as I fail to reach my goal before Sat, I found myself still working on Sat and Sun which pretty much make me not really have a day or two to recover my heads. Being freelance is really about self-discipline 😣 

===== The Fail Self-Discipline =====

As I mentioned above I think I pretty much fail at my self-discipline this month. Since I can’t finish my work goal in time so I work on the day I’m supposed to be my free day to do what I want. Maybe I also didn’t really know how to handle additional work load (comic) that have been introduce to my weekly schedule. It’s like domino for me. One thing fail and the rest follow.

I don’t complete my weekly goal -> I work on my weekend -> No day to rest/Stay late night working -> Mentally grumpy -> Get yelled at by my own mean af brain -> Think that I sucks -> Think that everything I do is not good enough. I really have to do something to get my self discipline back. Maybe introduce some more variety to my routine too since my day is pretty much consists of sitting still during day and work during night. It does not fulfill what I need in day. And honestly I need quite a few thing in my day. Work time is one thing but I also need to do other thing to fulfill my brain too like playing games or so.

I think my depression got me pretty bad too this month. But yes I think it’s pretty much domino effect from what I mentioned above. Still this month is not over yet maybe I can still try to make some self-discipline!

===== My Internet Shenanigans =====

Oh boy where do I start? Well first I’m almost comfortably moving away from proton to skiff since well I like their service. Their doc is pretty neat and as when I starting to think everything is fitting into place now… basically skiff get brought out by notion and will close down in 6 months. That’s mean I have to move again. Which lead me to think that I should really use email with my own domain name for smoother moving experience. And that mean… I need to have separate new two domains.

Problem is well I need to change my email and domain name again. From proton -> fastmail -> skiff -> proton and now mailbox.org. At first I use proton but I move to fast mail because the mail plus plan giving me too few alias so… I move to fastmail. Thing looking pretty great until I tried skiff. I’ve been eyeing skiff for years so I finally give it a try as I’m also trying to find a new cloud storage provider as well. Well skiff seem to be perfect for what I need. Lot of alias, Cloud storage and oh wow a docs! Until well notion stuff happen. (I also love how they nuke their discord the same day they announce notion brought them without answering anything lmao)

I move back to proton for a bit but again move to different provider after I brought two new domains for myself. Which proton mail plus plan only support one custom domain and I don’t see the need to pay $12 a month for full unlimited plan but even then they support only 3 custom domain. So… I’m back in finding other alternative. And settle down with mailbox.org as I get a lot more alias and with somewhat a good alternative to Google suite. Well yeah it’s also a lot cheaper! Hopefully I will settle down for real and without needing to fear that they will just proof out of existence soon.

**Hopefully I will finally settle down about the domain name and email and stuff like that!（；´д｀）ゞ also as you may or may not notice I merge both of my personal site and my wiki into one which is like this website**