- 2025posts:2025_journal

2025-01-01_2024_rambling

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

2024 rambling OMG, this year is... certainly something. I... have an odd time with this year. A mixed year I supposed, Good year when it comes to career as artist, Mixed year when it comes to myself in general but even then I make some progress in my recovering in terms of mental health. o]-[

2025-01-14_kink_for_cope

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

Kink for cope TLDR; FA has content filtering now, I'm going to start posting more stuff! I want to draw or explore more aka like toxic relationship, twincest, noncon, amputee, cannibalism nom nom and other kind of thing I want to try for my own mental health and healing and just because i want to. Also personal stuff that I'm willingly to share.

2025-01-16_snowflake_challenge_1_fandom_info

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

Copied from: Check out fandom snowflake challenge! ✦ Hi, My name is Xylia, 24yr Androgyne from SEAsian (Thailand) this is my introduction for fandom stuff! (Most of the time, I'm OC artist) I'm pretty much in any fandom in any media that I consume and never really leave it but most of the time it's like surface level interested. Like I know some lore here and there.

2025-01-16_snowflake_challenge_2_fannish_origin

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

Copied from: Check out fandom snowflake challenge! ---------- I first enter fandom during my early teenager as escapism from typical elder sister from asian family experience lol, My first fandom that I joined (when I actually know what is fandom) is Yugioh GX. I think it's my first ship experience there. UNTIL! I enter Touhou project fandom and all hell broke loose lmao.

2025-01-20_snowflake_challenge_3_fannish_opinion

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

Copy from original post Check out fandom snowflake challenge! ---------- My fannish opinion mostly stays the same, Fiction is fiction. Do what you like as long as it's not hurting anyone, and hurting anyone feeling because they like what you don't like it not a harm. (Unless it's literally wishing someone harm, but you do get what I mean)

2025-01-20_snowflake_challenge_4_goals

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

Copy from original post Check out fandom snowflake challenge! ---------- I wish to try to find a middle spot for me for almost everything but mainly I wanted to invest in myself more. And I guess trying to control or get better of controlling my ASPD. I don't want to do anything stupid and harm someone. I just want to just be. Enjoy my life. I believe that i'm nice people despite my brain telling me…

2025-01-20_snowflake_challenge_5_meaning_of_fandom

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

Copy from original post : Check out fandom snowflake challenge! ---------- Challenge 5 Talk about what has improved in your life thanks to fandom. I survive my shitty teenager years due to fandom content. Shipping art is what make me keep going in life like legit lol, It's such a big part of me, and I'm forever grateful for people who make fan content. I also met a lot of friends

2025-01-22_snowflake_challenge_6_favorite_original_canon

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

CONTAIN SPOILER FOR Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha series, Psycho-Pass Copy from original post Check out fandom snowflake challenge! ---------- My absolute favorite canon is how nanoha and fate (from magical girl lyrical nanoha) has a grow up, and you can see them as adult, These two have been together since the beginning but in the 1st season they're more of enemies where they become friend at the end.

2025-01-27_numbers_and_art

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

Numbers and Art Warning this post is purely opinion piece! Some background, I have a rough relationship with social media, I love it like I'm actually almost at every social media you can find (although mostly just checking out what people are using it for and left) but at the same time I do believe that me spending too much time on it cause me trouble in a form of contributing to mental health. Like a lot of artists, I don't have too much support or appreciation from my family (in my case, un…

2025-02-02_xyliareadstuff_how_to_money

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

book_stuff xyliaread_stuff Xylia read stuff: How to money [I read this in Thai translated version] First let me say that I'm freshly out of university for 1 year, so I'm just starting to build my life, Sadly from my time from still learning at school and university, I didn't learn how to manage money or why save it up or so or like a basic finance at all (I'm being told to but not 'why'). So I struggle with trying to save my money and managing my stuff often. (And also being a freelancer, s…

2025-02-26_life_stuff_and_possible_hrt

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

[Back up of FA journal] Mostly rambling, so you can skip it if you wish Last two weeks I experience intensive depression as in suicidal Ideation, a total loss of self-worth, I hate everything I hate my art I hate myself and I hate everyone else so much so that I almost have a violence outburst toward pretty much anyone. And as you know last two week is a week that I said I want to push myself to clear queue which is

2025-05-14_losing_goal_in_art

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

I'm going to be real, I'm not sure what would I want from my art. At first, I often get envy at other artist for having people interact with their art like get a lot of like/share and often thinking about why I can't have that too. So I work hard to improve my stuff It's for both love for my own art that I know that I can be so much more but also yeah kind of 'I hope people will notice me more!' It's a nice motivation with like visible goal.

2025-06-28_rambling_about_my_condition

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

So last week, I went to psychiatrist as normal but um I would say it a good step forward but not without some back draw. First So all of my condition are confirmed to be a result of BPD (borderline personality disorder) both of my depression and also my aggression. So we can cross dysthymia and 'developing ASPD' out. With a side of seasonal mood disorder and if this seasonal mood disorder is true like what we discuss them on August, I will need another 2 weeks break. Which that is a huge step i…

2025-07-29_👽_random_yapping_about_my_own_art

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

A sort of evaluation of my own art skill Since my own attention span being kind of low and how I usually get comms to draw TF pieces which require me to draw multiple fullbodies, so I train myself to be on 'faster' side of drawing stuff. As in, I try to make my personal art finish within 1-3 hours. And along the way I pick up a trick and tip that could help me draw faster or coloring faster to use with commission art, especially the transformation pieces. And with how my character detail is kin…

2025-10-21_👽_oct_monthly_random_yap

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

I remember I used to do this kind of public journaling each month, checking how I am doing, lol. This month is messy. Mentally speaking, that is. My new meds put me to sleep until around noon or 1pm which is not a problem since I'm a freelancer, and I work from home and I work at night but still eh, but I guess I'm a bit more calm since it was advertised to do that.

2025-12-01_monthly_yap_december_edition

Anonymous (anonymous@undisclosed.example.com) — 2025-12-09T13:21:25+00:00

Hello welcome to another xylia's incoherently random monthly yapping. IF anyone reading them, that is. I know some did, and I still didn't think anyone will read them. So how have I been lately? Mentally and medically, I think I'm doing quite alright, except for the last few days that my brain just start bullying me hard. As it tends to do and probably will do for quite sometimes, which I realized that it's close to my quarterly limit and probably period soon. Other than that, I think my new…